What to Do When Logic Isn’t Working

So you’ve realized you’re not dealing with a logic problem.

The plan makes sense. The case has been made. Everyone agrees. And still—nothing moves.

If you’ve identified that what’s holding things up is emotional rather than rational, you’re already halfway there. Most change efforts stall because we keep trying to solve the wrong problem.

The good news? Emotional problems don’t require better arguments. They require better conversations.

Here are five steps to guide you.

Step 1: Ground yourself.

Before you address someone else’s emotions, check in with your own.

By the time you’ve realized things aren’t progressing, you may already be carrying frustration, impatience, or disappointment. If you walk into the conversation with those feelings unexamined, they will leak out—through your tone, your posture, your urgency.

Ground yourself first. Take a breath. Name what you’re feeling. Decide that your goal is understanding, not persuasion.

If you skip this step, you’ll likely amplify the tension and add static that makes it harder to hear what’s actually going on.

Step 2: Get curious.

Ask yourself: What genuinely puzzles me about this situation?

What assumptions am I making? What might I not yet understand?

Prepare a few questions you genuinely don’t know the answer to. The operative word here is genuinely.

A word of caution: this is not the time for strategic questioning. If you use the Socratic method to lead someone down your carefully constructed logical path, you’re still trying to win the argument. That approach probably contributed to the impasse in the first place.

Curiosity means you are willing to be surprised.

Step 3: Listen to understand.

Your goal is not agreement. It’s comprehension.

Let the other person describe their experience in their own words. Resist the urge to interrupt, correct, or mentally prepare your rebuttal. You can accept someone’s perspective as real for them without endorsing it as objectively true.

That distinction matters.

Often, people don’t need you to solve their feelings. They need you to acknowledge them.

Step 4: Reflect back what you hear.

When they’ve finished speaking, summarize what you heard using as much of their language as possible.

• “You’re worried that this change will make your role less visible.”

• “It sounds like you’re excited about the direction but unsure about your capacity.”

Then pause.

If they respond with, “Yes, that’s right,” you’ve done something powerful. They feel understood. And that alone can shift the emotional climate.

If you’ve missed something, invite correction. Clarity builds trust.

Step 5: Ask what would help.

Now that the core tension is visible, ask a simple question:
“What would help?”

Sometimes naming the issue is enough to release it. Other times, the answer reveals a practical adjustment you can make. And sometimes, there isn’t a clean fix—but there is a shared understanding that makes moving forward easier.

Let the other person help define the next step.

Emotional problems rarely dissolve under pressure. They move when they’re seen.

If you find yourself explaining the strategy again and again with no increase in momentum, pause. Shift from persuading to understanding. The work of change often accelerates the moment someone feels heard.

Where have you seen this dynamic play out in your own change work? What helped move things forward?